Breathing

I don’t think it’s possible to describe the darkness, and the loneliness that comes with it. It creeps in very unexpectedly sometimes. And sometimes I can see it coming a mile away.

Regardless, it never fails to show up.

I am completely disoriented in the darkness. Everything hurts. The pain is self-inflicted sometimes. And sometimes it slips in through the cracks in my very carefully crafted shield.

Regardless, it is always present in the darkness.

It makes me sick. It makes me mad. And in the darkness, in the moments when I am most honestly myself, the insignificance of it all suffocates me.

Maybe that’s the best way to describe the darkness: Suffocating.

Regardless, I just want to start breathing again.

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One thought on “Breathing

  1. Your header has deep waters…cold, dense, heavy. Light reflects on the surface with multicolored scenes – on the surface. It’s hard to kick up through and break that surface – and get discouraged to when those reflections shatter and wave away as you gasp for air. But in stillness, the surface reforms and the reflections shyly nudge, then surrounds. It’s hard to be still among darkness and allow that gentle return.

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