Feeling Funky …

… and not in a fun, sequin-wearing, disco-dancing kinda way.

May and June should be months of fun and excitement in my life. Summer is almost here (although you wouldn’t know it the way our weather has been lately, but that’s neither here nor there), our anniversary is coming up, and school is almost out for a few months.

Damn graduation, anyway. It sends me to an unhappy place every damn year, and it really shouldn’t.

This is me right now.

I am proud of my all my students, and so happy for the seniors. They are on to bigger and better things, and their adult lives are really beginning now. I am excited because they’re excited. And I’m honored to have played a role (however small) in their high school education and experiences.

But I have never been big on goodbyes. Denial, yes; goodbyes, not so much.

I have been working on a post to the 2011 seniors for a couple months. Actually, it’s more like I’ve been avoiding working too seriously on said post, hence the lack of blog during that time. I’ve had to work hard to find other things to occupy my mind and time, but I can’t put it off anymore. Graduation is tomorrow.

Much like facing my own 10-year reunion, I am just not ready. Maybe in some ways I am jealous. I would love to go back and re-live the last 10 years … I wouldn’t change anything per se, it was just a really fun period of my life. Unstable, uncertain, uncommitted to anything except the present moment.

Now as an ‘adult’ and fully functional member of society (most days), it’s hard to hang on to that attitude. Maybe I miss it.

Maybe I hope my students will enjoy their next 10 years as much as I did my last 10. Maybe I’m scared for them, excited for them, and sad to see them go all at the same time.

Hmph.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Feeling Funky …

  1. Someone once said good teachers almost go through a period of morning every year over their students…it’s probably mostly true of those who teach the older ones….happy they are moving on – as prepared as you can get them to be…but melancholy what you know is ahead …then again there’s the exhaustion factor…teachers – especially with kids of their own- are generally quite sleep deprived! 😉

    • This must be the mourning period … At least I’m not nuts, and not going through it alone. I also don’t have kids of my own, and I think that actually makes it worse because I get so attached to my students. Thanks for the insight. 🙂

      • Been exactly where you are. Rest up now for the next batch. They need you..although they don’t know it – some won’t know it..or show it. Teachers rarely know the impact, but if you are very lucky maybe one of those rare experience will happen years later when a kid (and you will remember their name – and where they sat) and the kid says -” I wouldn’t have made it without you. ” It may be something academic or something helped them in life – something you gave without even knowing. Teachers have more blind faith, hope, determination, willingness to sacrifice for the common good than the general public. Guess that’s what makes good teachers. Good job. now go play

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s