… and not in a fun, sequin-wearing, disco-dancing kinda way.
May and June should be months of fun and excitement in my life. Summer is almost here (although you wouldn’t know it the way our weather has been lately, but that’s neither here nor there), our anniversary is coming up, and school is almost out for a few months.
Damn graduation, anyway. It sends me to an unhappy place every damn year, and it really shouldn’t.
I am proud of my all my students, and so happy for the seniors. They are on to bigger and better things, and their adult lives are really beginning now. I am excited because they’re excited. And I’m honored to have played a role (however small) in their high school education and experiences.
But I have never been big on goodbyes. Denial, yes; goodbyes, not so much.
I have been working on a post to the 2011 seniors for a couple months. Actually, it’s more like I’ve been avoiding working too seriously on said post, hence the lack of blog during that time. I’ve had to work hard to find other things to occupy my mind and time, but I can’t put it off anymore. Graduation is tomorrow.
Much like facing my own 10-year reunion, I am just not ready. Maybe in some ways I am jealous. I would love to go back and re-live the last 10 years … I wouldn’t change anything per se, it was just a really fun period of my life. Unstable, uncertain, uncommitted to anything except the present moment.
Now as an ‘adult’ and fully functional member of society (most days), it’s hard to hang on to that attitude. Maybe I miss it.
Maybe I hope my students will enjoy their next 10 years as much as I did my last 10. Maybe I’m scared for them, excited for them, and sad to see them go all at the same time.